Monthly Archives: September 2005
The wry-voiced comedian who starred as the fumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart in the 1960s TV spoof of James Bond movies, "Get Smart," has died. He was 82.
Adams died of a lung infection late Sunday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, his friend and former agent Bruce Tufeld said Monday, adding that the actor broke his hip a year ago and had been in ill health since.
As the inept Agent 86 of the super-secret federal agency CONTROL, Adams captured TV viewers with his antics in combatting the evil agents of KAOS. When his explanations failed to convince the villains or his boss, he tried another tack:
"Would you believe … ?"
It became a national catchphrase.
Smart was also prone to spilling things on the desk or person of his boss — the Chief (actor Edward Platt). Smart’s apologetic "Sorry about that, chief" also entered the American lexicon.
The spy gadgets, which aped those of the Bond movies, were a popular feature, especially the pre-cell-phone telephone in a shoe.
The Bengals are 3-0 for the first time since 1990, the last time the franchise made the playoffs. It is uncharted territory for many Bengals fans.
Carson Palmer threw touchdown passes of 18 and 40 yards to Chad Johnson and 36 yards to rookie Chris Henry. Palmer was 16-for-23 passing for 162 yards and three touchdowns and had his sixth consecutive game with an impressive passer rating better than 100 at 130.3.
The Bengals’ defense also took a shutout into the fourth quarter for the second game in a row and has allowed just 28 points in three games.
The Bengals scored 24 points against a Bears defense that had allowed just 15 in its first two games.
The Bengals intercepted five passes. With five the previous week against Minnesota, the Bengals are the first team since Cleveland in 1971 to have five interceptions in consecutive games.
The 10 interceptions in two consecutive games is a Bengals record. The previous mark was nine on Oct. 19 and Oct. 26, 1975, against the Oakland Raiders and Atlanta Falcons.
The Bengals are 2-0 on the road and have won six in a row against NFC teams.
The Bengals led 10-0 at halftime and scored all their points off turnovers. Those 10 gave the Bengals 43 of their 74 points (through 10 quarters) as the result of turnovers. The touchdown pass to Henry came after a Deltha O’Neal interception – the Bengals’ fifth – in the third quarter. The Bengals have scored 50 points on possessions after a turnover.
On the Bears’ first possession, Bengals linebacker Brian Simmons intercepted rookie quarterback Kyle Orton. The ball popped out of receiver Justin Cage’s arms when he was hit by safety Kevin Kaesviharn. Simmons returned the ball to the Chicago 39-yard line, where he fumbled. Rookie linebacker Odell Thurman picked up the ball and ran 21 yards to the 18.
From there, on the first play, Palmer threw a strike between two defensive backs to Chad Johnson for an 18-yard touchdown. It was the first time in six tries that the Bears’ defense had allowed a touchdown in six red-zone possessions.
On Chicago’s third possession, Orton threw his second pick, this one right to Bengals cornerback Keiwan Ratliff. The Bengals had second down and 12 from the Chicago 38 when Palmer threw deep for T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Cornerback Charles Tillman grabbed Houshmandzadeh by the shoulder pads at the 3. But the Bengals could not get the touchdown.
On third and goal from the 5, Palmer threw an apparent touchdown pass to Houshmandzadeh at the right pylon. But Chad Johnson was penalized for offensive pass interference in the end zone, and the Bengals would settle for a 33-yard Shayne Graham field goal. It was Graham’s sixth field goal in six attempts this season.
The Bengals also had interceptions from Madieu Williams and Tory James. In the first half, Orton was 4-for-11 passing for 31 yards and four interceptions. His passer rating at the half was 5.3.
O’Neal had his fourth interception of the season and recovered a fumble in the fourth quarter. It was the Bengals’ 16th takeaway against just four giveaways.
Bengals running back Chris Perry lost a fumble in the second quarter. As of halftime, the Bengals had 14 takeaways this season and just four turnovers.
After Perry’s fumble, the Bears drove to the Bengals’ 21-yard line, but Doug Brien’s 39-yard field-goal attempt sailed wide left.
The Bengals suffered two first-half injuries. Right tackle Willie Anderson, making his 83rd consecutive start, left in the second quarter with a back strain. Chad Johnson left with leg cramps but did return.
Tommy,one of my best friends from college, and his family live in Houston,Texas . .
The last time I visited him he was excited about showing me the town of Galveston. I was in awe of it’s personality and beauty. It is hard to believe the devastation it could endure.
The last time I spoke to Tommy he was unsure about what to expect from Rita, and the damage it could inflict on his home. My thoughts go out to the Lyles family,to everyone else who will be affected, and to all those still caught up in the aftermath of Katrina.
Prepare for the worst, Hope for the Best.
I was listening to this great comedy album last year called “Harmful if Swallowed” by Dane Cook and for the first time in a long time I started to get excited about comedy again. It has been almost five years since I have done stand up professionally, but this guy Cook is the closest that I have seen to great comedy in a while.
Cook is not only an accomplished comedian, but also a very talented actor and writer as well. He’s won a Best Actor award from the Pixie Awards for his portrayal of someone facing their own inner demons in Spiral, and was recently voted #1 on Comedy Central’s top stand-up comedians
My favorite bit on the “Harmful if Swallowed” CD is the BK Lounge routine.
"So many crappy…the first job i had right…the first job when I was uh? 17 uh was Burger King.That was the first job that I had alright? I didnt want to call it Burger King either cuz like yanno? So i called it the BK Lounge. If the girls were like where do you work? I’d be like I work down at the BK Lounge. I’m a bouncer at the BK Lounge….Can we get in?…Not without coups. Not without coups baby….So I get the job because I have one older brother Darrell , he’s the manager and I’m like this is gonna be awesome cuz my bro manager hooked me up. He was a dick! He thought he was the Burger King!You know what I’m saying? He sucked! He would put me on drive thru every single night.
I took a…I took a lady’s order one time. I’ll never forget this. I go like this Mam. That’ll be $3.75. Please drive around. And then there’s like this long pause and then she goes Where do I go? …Where do you go?! You follow the one fucking road you’re on to me! …Where do you Ok mam you’re gonna go to the Texaco station. Take a right. Go 5 and a half miles southeast.You’re gonna see a guy in a yellow poncho. His name is Hank. He’ll take you to the Whopper Lair.That’s where you go. And you’ve got 10 minutes to get there or we take your food!
Last week he released the album “Retaliation”. The album sold 86,000 copies in its first week, debuting at No. 4 on Billboard’s charts. Which is supposed to be the highest ranked comedy album since Steve Martin.
After listening to "Retaliation" several times, it seems that Dane has chosen a slightly different path. The comedy is edgier and slightly less refined. "Retaliation", while not as awesome as "Harmful" still is a great comedy CD. It will certainly appeal to those who thought "Harmful" was great but will also have greater appeal to the college-aged market.
My favorite routines were:
The Nothing Fight
The Creepy guy at work.
This is his official website.
(Sept. 18, 2005)
Chad Johnson went right from talking to trashing.
Johnson caught a 70-yard touchdown pass on the game’s second play, and the Cincinnati Bengals overwhelmed Minnesota Vikings’ rebuilt defense 37-8, making a statement and raising a question.
At 2-0, the Bengals are for real. Can the 0-2 Vikings be this bad?
Johnson got his mouth going during pregame introductions, talking a little trash to Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot. The receiver had challenged him during the week to show what he’s got.
The Bengals had it all over the Vikings, rolling up 337 yards and a 27-0 lead in the first half. Johnson topped 100 yards receiving before halftime, setting the tone for Cincinnati’s most lopsided victory in three years.
By contrast, Daunte Culpepper had a miserable time, throwing a career-high five interceptions — three of them to Deltha O’Neal. The Vikings turned the ball over seven times in all and didn’t get closer than the Bengals’ 49-yard line in the first half.
By that point, Johnson didn’t have to say anything. The numbers said it all.
Carson Palmer completed his first nine passes against a dazed defense. Palmer went 27-for-40 for 337 yards overall with touchdown passes to three different receivers.
His least-bashful receiver got it rolling.
Johnson was yapping before the coin toss, sauntering toward the Vikings bench to yell at Smoot. The cornerback yelled back and made a "bring-it-on" arm wave.
Fifty-two seconds into the game, Johnson was in the end zone.
The Vikings were slow getting defensive substitutions onto the field for the second play. Smoot lined up in the slot against T.J. Houshmandzadeh, leaving Johnson covered along the sideline by Antoine Winfield.
Johnson flew past Winfield and took Palmer’s long pass in stride over the shoulder for a 70-yard touchdown play. During his radio show on Thursday night, Johnson had promised a caller he would emulate former Bengals receiver Isaac Curtis and simply drop the ball when he scored.
That’s precisely what he did. And the Bengals’ offense didn’t stop there.
The Vikings sank a lot of money into their defense in the offseason, bringing in Smoot, safety Darren Sharper and lineman Pat Williams. They were helpless in the decisive first half – the Bengals didn’t even have to punt.
Sharper and Winfield were on the bench with injuries while the Bengals closed it out in the fourth quarter.
For the second consecutive game, the Vikings’ offense couldn’t get out of its own way. Culpepper had three interceptions and two fumbles in an opening 24-13 loss to Tampa Bay, and repeatedly forced passes against the Bengals – one of O’Neal’s interceptions was in the end zone.
The Vikings’ offense set numerous franchise records last season with Randy Moss, and hasn’t been the same without him, scoring only one touchdown in two games. The Vikings couldn’t even take advantage of franchise-record 17 penalties by the Bengals.
When it ended, Johnson sought out Smoot and gave him a warm embrace.
Talking in his ear the whole time, of course.